This week’s tip is about getting out from underneath the expectations of other people. Women are quick to take on guilt for what they aren’t doing or what they aren’t doing well enough (in their own mind). More times then not, I see clients taking on superhuman responsibilities only to fail and blame themselves. Look at your to do list for the week (both personal and professional) and consider it it is reasonable for you to get everything done without driving yourself into the ground. You will not succeed in life or business if you take too much on. You’ll end up dropping balls, driving yourself into burn out, and missing out on opportunities. Find a mentor, coach, colleague, or someone else that isn’t directly influenced by your decisions and ask them to listen to the responsibilities you’ve taken on and ask them objectively if they are reasonable. My guess is no. Break things into 1)What you have to do 2)What you’d like to do 3) What you will do if you find the time. Taking on too much in 2010 to meet other’s expectations is the fast lane to failure. Take a breath, consider what to be involved in, and go forward in a measured tempo.

Best,

Chris.

www.GhostCEO.com

Collaboration in business is often evaluated solely on the basis of potential financial benefits. That is an important factor for sure, but as in all areas of business, there are some “soft” benefits to as well, and considering them is an important part of knowing if a particular joint project makes sense for you.

Personality fit is a big one — There’s no one right personality type for an ideal partnership. Both parties just need to be clear on know who is who, and what foibles they each bring to the table. It’s easy to look at the other party critically, but we need take a good look at ourselves as well. And it’s just as important to truly know and acknowledge our weaknesses — or as I prefer to call them, “lesser evolved qualities” — as it is our strengths. Maybe even more, since it’s the former that seem to bring out more of the challenges.

Communications style is another intangible — Are your communication styles compatible? I’m pretty straightforward, which rubs some people the wrong way. Other people love it. I show pleasure and displeasure with equal sincerity, so if someone expects me to dance around an issue with, “Well, uhm, I sort of think, maybe we should…” we’re not going to work well together. Without compromising mutual respect, I want to know what they are thinking without second guessing, and I want to work in an environment where I have the same freedom.

Values fit is another biggie — What do you value, what does your partner value? Creative autonomy, collaborative problem solving , high quality standards, level of financial return, social or community contribution, environmental benefits… These are just a few of the values that may come into play, the list is endless. You don’t have to have identical values, but they do need to be compatible. Knowing and respecting each other’s values allows you to both get what you need.

Know what works for you and doesn’t, then don’t take it personally. If both of you can acknowledge and openly discuss differences up front, and come up with a game plan to bridge any gaps as they arise, you’ll be better equipped than many marriages to weather the inevitable storms.

If you can’t discuss things openly and reach an agreement, better to know before you “walk down the aisle.”

Liz Gaige
Market Navigators Consulting