Break the Rules, Be Exactly Yourself
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010New Rule: Be exactly yourself.
I’ve worked with and spoken with many women in business, the majority of whom believe on some level that they need to be a different person in order to succeed. More educated, more competitive, less confrontational, tougher, more flashy, less aggressive, more aggressive, more hard-nosed, more accommodating, more structured, more flexible, less giving…
Good grief, hold it already!
What if instead of not enough, you are just right the way you are? What if no matter what anyone else has said — including the nasty, persistent, critical voice in your head — you are actually all that you need to be, right now?
What if the things we have come to believe are a problem, a character flaw, an “issue” are actually our greatest strengths? Well, like being stubborn, for example.
Hmmm. Let’s consider. Being stubborn isn’t cool. It’s not sexy. It certainly isn’t always convenient for those around us. Yup, it’s definitely a problem.
But wait. Being stubborn is the mark of all successful inventors, entrepreneurs, visionaries, and world-changers everywhere.
Oh, no one actually calls it stubborn. They call it pretty names. Like determined, steadfast, devoted, courageous, dedicated, committed… But it’s still just being stubborn. Holding on and not letting go no matter what anyone else says.
I worked with a fellow once who landed his job not in spite of being bossy, fastidious and, in his own words, anal retentive. He got the job because he was those things. He was office manager for a large, international law firm that took up several floors of a downtown office tower. They needed someone who could be counted on never to run out of anything. It did mean putting up with a tirade here and there when someone foolishly left one of the supply rooms a mess. He was bossy, took guff from no one, and ran a tight ship. He was perfect for the job (and actually a lot of fun when you didn’t mess things up).
It’s high time we start looking at the things we’ve come to believe are flaws, start viewing them as strengths, and begin exploring how to make them work for us.
Do what my friend Tracy and I did, we made a pact. The Goldilocks Pact. We decided we’re not Too Much or Too Little of anything. We’re just right. And so are you. This year, break the rules and be exactly yourself, don’t change a thing.
Liz Gaige
Market Navigators Consulting
Tags: confidence in business, fear in business, overcoming fear, professional women, Women in Business
January 20th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
This is truly fantastic! I decided just yesterday that instead of getting up every morning and the first thought being “I didn’t get enough sleep” that I would change my thinking – take a HUGE, DEEP breath and say “I had enough!”…all through the day…I AM enough. Just right, in fact
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Peace sista’
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January 21st, 2010 at 9:17 am
Thank you for this. As I enter into my professional life, I am finding that despite all that I was told, it’s ok for me to be me. And in fact, if I accept those parts of me that didn’t fit the molds of others, they will further my professional career as opposed to hinder it. A very timely post for me. Thank you.
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LizG Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 9:55 am
Rock on, girl. What makes you unique is what makes you amazing!
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January 21st, 2010 at 10:25 pm
Liz … great article. We like to call people stubborn when they won’t do something our way but we call them devoted when they are fighting for our cause. Perhaps we label people based on our own needs and not on objective perception about who they really are as a person. Interesting idea.
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LizG Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Yeah, no one ever calls their cancer doc or a research scientist “stubborn,” do they?
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January 21st, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Another good one, Liz. My Grandpa would probably say that the people who tell you to give up on your dreams are the ones who’ve already given up on theirs.
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January 27th, 2010 at 8:35 am
Interesting perspective, well said.
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