“The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.”

For many people, the thought of losing (a business deal, a client, or a key staff member) can lead them to making poor decisions. Our world is so focused on winning all of the time that it forgets that success is a shitty teacher. It is the times we lose where we learn the most. I worked in a casino for a while as a security guard on the high stakes tables. A friend of mine came in with $2,000.00 and told me that he had saved up the money to learn how the game of Texas Hold’em was played. I told him he was an idiot and that he should buy a game for his computer and practice at home. He reminded me that ‘in play’ experience is the best teacher. You won’t take it seriously if the money isn’t real.

He played that night and lost about $800.00 in chips. He came back the following night and walked away +$125.oo

For the following weeks he would be up and down, but never lost his entire $2,000.00 Some nights he’d be down to $200.00 and would leave. I thought the emotional roller coaster ride would have been enough to drive anyone crazy, but he stuck with it and now he seriously augments his income by playing in poker tournaments in B.C. and Vegas.

You have to be in it to win it. When you lose, don’t focus on the loss itself. Instead focus on the lesson. What did you learn this time that you can avoid next time. For me, most of my success comes from avoiding the pitfalls that others fall into. Almost everyone I know wants to write a book. They have it on their ‘to-do’ list, but get stuck in the details. I made almost every mistake you can in finding an agent, getting a book deal, and choosing how to promote the book. Every time I made a mistake, I’d look at what the lesson was and go again. I started focusing on Canadian agents and when that didn’t work, I focused on those in Manhattan. When I wasn’t getting anywhere with one press, I would look at working with another. I had a lot of bad radio interviews so I started decising which ones I would do and which ones I would pass on. The good ones got me excited for more good ones, the bad ones made me want to get out of the studio as quickly as possible.

I’m successful for one basic fact: I’m not afraid to lose. I’m not afraid to fall on my face….as long as I only do it once per area. I will take the hits, taunts, jibes, and self-abuse I do when I fail in order to learn. I seek out others that have failed and succeeded to get their take on how to avoid pitfalls and get in the winner’s circle. You have to walk the edge if you want the good stuff. Playing too safe will strangle opportunities for yourself. When life kicks you in the guts and tries to break you, get up, dust yourself off, and look for the lesson. It might be painful and it might be expensive, but it is necessary. If you do the same mistake over and over again..well, you might be a bonehead and need to take some time to figure out what you are doing wrong rather than doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different outcome.

Best,

Chris.

p.s. If you find that when you are crapping out, you need to throw a pity party or engage in drama with the people around you, take a walk and think about where your focus is. You get what you focus on. Drama brings drama and pity parties are for losers. The only people that like coming to pity parties are other losers. Stay positive, look for the lesson, and drive forward.

Tags: Alpha Male, craps, Ghost CEO, lessons, pity parties, poker, success

This entry was posted on Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 6:29 am and is filed under Blog, Business Development, Chris Flett - Business Development, Going All In. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.